Golden thoughts for my golden dog.

Golden thoughts for my golden dog.

It sounds dramatic to say, “I’m no stranger to death.”  I mean, melodramatic.  Instead I’ll say, “I’m no stranger to grief.”  (I just remembered/realized that Jesus was “acquainted with grief . . .”) Sometimes I say I don’t grieve well and other times I say it’s one of my accomplishments.  The fact is, when someone I love dies I take it hard and I take it long.

Remember that movie A Beautiful Mind?  The Russell Crowe character figured out when he was hallucinating because the little girl never grew up.  It is similar for me.  I can tell I’m in grief-induced depression because I can’t tell how my words affect others and I take things wrong.  I’m ignorant and delusional, I guess.

I’m hoping to wake up one day and feel OK again.  In the meantime, I’m rewriting parts of my book wherein my Main Character has experienced a significant loss.  In addition to having researched the stages of grief for her, I am observing them in myself.  And I’m able to give an accurate, non-objective flavor to her grieving.

And I gotta admit, it kind of tickles me to write in little scenes I never thought of before.

One Thought on “Great loss, small gain

  1. You’re a very talented artist, Sue. 🙂 I hope that painting this helped you feel a little better. That’s great that you’re able to use real life to influence your book–even though real life is sometimes really hard.

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