Do you get your feelings hurt easily?
Notice the careful phraseology. I’ve been taught that getting one’s feelings hurt is a choice one makes. I’m quite sure this is true, but I’m terrible at choosing to not get hurt, really don’t know how to stop the hurt before it happens. But I’m trying.
(My dad liked to say, “My wife says I’m a trying husband,” which, of course, my mom never said.)
My mom said that my grandmother had a peculiar sense of humor; you never knew what she would find funny. Then Mom told two stories about her. The first illustrated her lack of humor in what could have been a funny situation (though the older I get, the more I sympathize with Grandma).
The other story is one I’ve cherished since I read it. It’s become a Life Lesson for me.
Grandma worked in a position of leadership at church with two other women. One of the women had a difficult time working with Grandma. She called Grandma and had a frustrating experience with her. After hanging up, the woman called the other lady in the leadership position and began criticizing and berating Grandma to her. Unfortunately, she had accidentally redialed Grandma’s phone number! Grandma was treated to a diatribe of her own shortcomings (in this woman’s estimation).
Mom was perplexed that my Grandma thought this an extremely funny event.
I often reflect on my grandmother’s response to this experience. It has shaped my life.
Many times I’ve been able to laugh about outright snubs made to my very face. I wish I could say I never get my feelings hurt by them, but the pain is definitely alleviated by the laughter. I also find that laughing helps me “stick around a bit longer,” and when I do so, it often turns out that the person surely never meant to insult or hurt me. Once in a while, I’ve even had a good laugh with people about their inadvertent snubs.
Ah, we are all fragile folk. Some more so than others.
Thank you Grandma for that wonderful lesson! And thanks Mom for writing it down.
See also Pahoran’s reaction to Moroni’s letter (The Book of Mormon, Alma 60–61)
“My Lesson From Pahoran”
“That Ye Be Not Offended” (Five keys to keep from having your feelings hurt)