Frankly, any kind of self-care is a struggle. I find that concept intriguing. We are constantly classifying our society as basically selfish, aren’t we? We laud as selfless heroes anyone engaged in humanitarian efforts.
Taking my care of my less-demanding needs is most difficult. And those that aren’t demanding at all—like journaling, drawing, and painting—so easily fall by the wayside. And yet when I do them, it’s like All Good Things rolled into one. I mean things like taking a walk in the sunshine (or a light rain), lying still and listening to music (or better yet, dancing). Funny how these simple things are practically considered luxuries. And any one of them seems to fill the need I have for self-care.
So why is it so hard to do?
Last night, after what seemed daaaaaaaaaaays, I put pencil to paper. (It’s been a long time since I’ve done any figure drawing, so . . .)
It had really only been two days since I last drew, but too much time had passed. Something tells me I need more creative time, more often.
I finally finished Day One of my Creative Heart Healers course. It’s a five-day course, but I’m generally too tired to read the lesson for Day Two. Finally got that done tonight.
One thing I’ve learned about art-and-me is that we work well together AT NIGHT. Everyone else is asleep and there are no distractions.
There is a part of me (at least 50%) that’s unwilling to stay up all night (or, ahem, very late) to do . . . thisthingthatIreallyneedandwanttodobutcan’tseemto . . . what? indulge myself? (Sue, do you hear yourself?)
Since when is taking time to care for myself indulgence?
(I called it a luxury earlier in this post, didn’t I?)
As I spent several days working through Day One of the course (it only took so long because I like to ponder EVERYTHING; on average people only take a day), I arrived at some altruistic conclusions:
I want to build a creative and self-care habit because I’m interested in personal growth (up, out, and even downward; like a tree: branches and roots), personal progress (moving forward, upward, overward; gaining wisdom and a better view), and I’m also interested in being able to interact with my community (or various communities). To share myself and my life with others, I have to be someone—a self with a life. Creativity is a long-acknowledged part of my life that needs exercise and development; without creative expression I am not happy, growing, or progressing which leaves me with very little to share.
Sounds good on paper. Harder to put into practice. Yet just last night I was telling myself that I am a person who has always challenged myself, who is committed to lifelong learning and personal progress.
AND I WILL!
These are my last two pages from Day One: