Art Journal Girl

Art Journal Girl

Once upon a time . . .

I learned not to judge by appearance.  God looketh on the heart and so should I.  This includes the heart of a matter.  Sometimes guidance comes in reprehensible-looking packages, so I’ve learned that even when I don’t like a particular word or expression, if my eyes can stomach the content (despite a flaw or two), then I can learn some really great lessons.

Such was the case yesterday.  Below find a quote from one Mandy Jordan, a fellow art-journalist.  (I have edited slightly.  The quote has not lost its meaning.)

“the thing about journaling is that it is supposed to be personal.  if you find yourself comparing your journal pages to others’, if you worry that you’re using material you “shouldn’t” or whatever, stop.  I might even suggest you not join a group like this or otherwise make your journal open to public scrutiny if it makes you feel like you’re trying to fit in or compete or whatever.  I used to read books on journaling techniques and take workshops and subscribe to magazines until I realized that as inspiring as it was, it was ultimately a muse-killer.  I had to walk way from all that and go back to basics, to not [caring] what my journal looked like and if I was “doing it right” before I could find my voice again.  I hope this does not offend. I just hear myself in your questions.”

After reading this I wondered if I would have the strength to quit my online art groups.  I loved what I was seeing from others.  And I got such good ideas for art exploration and imitation that I wouldn’t have had otherwise.

I want to spend my creative time wisely.  It’s challenging to post my latest work, but it also feels good for me–in a helpful and enjoyable way.  It would be easy (though a bit of a wrench) to quit, but if it weren’t for the group I wouldn’t be doing any artwork at all.  The challenge to be true to myself but also make art worth looking at is a challenge I can cope with.  I don’t have to post everything.  I think I’ll stick it out for now and see how I learn to deal with situations that are tickly or sticky or tough.

Spend wisely and know when to walk away.

100_1182 cropped 100_1183 cropped 100_1184 croppedOK, I haven’t posted in awhile and I can’t remember how this works, so I’ll just have a go and see how it comes out.

I’m posting these pictures of an accordion book I made a few years ago to give a new friend a visual on what I was trying to describe.

Hey, Jude (always wanted to say that to someone, though you’ve probably heard it once or twice before . . .)–this one’s for you.

 

 

Forest at twilightI want to share a poem by one of my favorite poets, Mary Oliver.

 

 

 

 

 

You Are Standing at the Edge of the Woods
By Mary Oliver

You are standing at the edge of the woods
at twilight
when something begins
to sing, like a waterfall

pouring down
through the leaves.  It is
the thrush.
And you are just

sinking down into your thoughts,
taking in
the sweetness of it—those chords,
those pursed twirls—when you hear

out of the same twilight
the wildest red outcry. It pitches itself
forward, it flails and scabs
all the surrounding space with such authority

you can’t tell
whether it is crying out on the
scarp of victory, with its hooked foot
dabbed into some creature that now
with snapped spine
lies on the earth—or whether
it is such a struck body itself, saying
goodbye.

The thrush
is silent then, or perhaps
has flown away.
The dark grows darker.

The moon,
in its shining white blouse,
rises.
And whatever that wild cry was

it will always remain a mystery
you have to go home now and live with,
sometimes with the ease of music, and sometimes in silence,
for the rest of your life.

 

******************

I once had the experience of hearing a “wildest red outcry”, but I think of it as a blackest blue outcry.  I was standing on the back porch in the middle of the night (which means I’d already gone to bed and got up later to let the dog out) when I heard the incredible, awful sound come out of the dark.  I’m sure it was the sound of death.  I hope it was one animal killing another because that is the most humane event I can think of to accompany the noise.  And I felt peaceful enough to sleep the rest of the night.  I don’t remember it with dread, just awe or something like reverence–music and silence.

Every year or so I add new habits to my list of things to do every day.

Carrots with topses

Carrots with topses

My latest is “eat carrots with every meal.”  The simpler the activity, the more likely it will outlive my laziness.

 

LDS Hymnbook (1985)

LDS Hymnbook (1985)

Another of my daily activities is singing hymns.  I try to sing two from the hymnbook daily, but I don’t always manage it.  Sometimes, when I’m sick I sing hymns and it helps me feel a lot better.

 

 

Scriptures

Scriptures

The most important daily habit is my scripture study.  I read The Book of Mormon for a half hour every day (and write notes about my thoughts).  Sometimes I listen to it on iTunes, but reading is better.  When I have any kind of difficulty, this sees me through.  I often start my study time with a question, but today I started with a statement:

“Today I need peace in a troubled world.”

I happen to be reading 1 Nephi chapter 17.  I’ve been on this chapter for a few days while I’ve struggled with a couple of troubling matters.  I guess both are related to my own weakness, but one is my own defect, the other is an outside irritant.

These are some of the ideas that came to me while I pondered this morning.

I think that initially we all–Heavenly Father’s spirit children, in heaven–had an equal chance.  We created our own differences by our choices.  When we came to earth we were all clean, but some people had advantages because of their choices and their experiences.

When I was in high school, for a couple of days in my social studies class we had a really fun activity.  We got to play the board game Careers.  My family played this at home, so I already knew the strategy.  I won.  The next day, the people who won the games the day before were given extra advantages, so they totally skunked the other players.  They couldn’t lose unless they CHOSE to lose.

The difference between the game and reality is that ANYONE can choose to have all the advantages at any time.  I’m not talking about education, health, wealth–I’m talking about the advantages of the Spirit.  It all depends on our choices. I’m always reminding myself that life isn’t about success.  It’s about making choices.  I don’t have to do great things.  I only have to do good things, and then the great advantages of the spiritual life are mine.

Then I started thinking about weaknesses.  And I asked myself, did God allow us to choose our weaknesses?  Was it like school–required classes and electives?  Then why would we choose certain ones?  Maybe for ourselves, but also for others?  One person healing a great weakness might benefit others.  What might be the subsidiary strengths to complement one’s weaknesses?  There’s good old General Ed. Desire to Obey.  That one has carried me through many a dark night of the soul.  And really, that’s sufficient.  There are more, but that’s all I want to think about at this time.